my youngest son is 24 years old. it struck me the other day that when he was born my mother had just turned 60 and had 8 grandchildren. i will be 60 in 3 weeks. to the best of my knowledge, neither of my sons is in any hurry to marry or have children, so grandmothering is not on the near horizon for me.
although 60 isn’t “old” in the world as it is today, it’s a little strange to be a 60 year-old empty-nester without grandchildren to come visiting. i certainly am not the woman my mother was at 60, which is not a value judgment on either of our lives. i work a little, i have a dog to keep me company, i see my husband mostly on the weekend since he travels during the week (on the basketball court – ha – and for work). the mural of my life has been painted with much different strokes than that of my mother. certainly my life turned out much differently than hers.
the good news is that i am healthy and active and able to travel to see my children and my siblings. the good news is i am able to work for several more years at my little book shop job (if my mind holds up). the good news is my sons are happy and healthy and living their lives. maybe i won’t ever hear the pitter patter of little feet. maybe i’ll hear them but i won’t have the energy to be able to clomp after them. que sera sera, i guess. carpe diem as it comes and be in this moment, and this one, and this one.
in the meantime, i’ll enjoy cooing over the babies i see and squat down to chat with the little tykes and enjoy them from afar. and that’s ok.